Falling Part Two and Going Back to Work

Anne-Marie posted recently about an experience where I fell trying to catch a Eli on a bike (he was fine, by the way, just kept riding along with no problem). Well, it happened again the other day while I was on one of the old military structures in he Marin Headlands. This time it was Ayla that was psyching me out - intimating a motion for a drop off the wall, I guess she had already been playing that game with Anne-Marie...but I didn't know that. I started running for her and once again, my legs just gave out. I stumbled to catch myself, but just ended up looking more ridiculous. I'm not sure how much work it's going to take to rebuild my leg muscle when I finally get off the prednisone. But I can't wait to get to the point where I can start trying.

On another note, I start back at work tomorrow. So I will go from not working at all for three and a half months to working 40 hours a week. I'm curious about how this will go. We will start with a meeting and then get right into making schedule changes for students. At least I will get to wear shorts and a T-shirt for the first week and a half. I think naps for lunch will be essential...or at least I'll watch the relaxation video my mom gave me (a guys voice talking softly through relaxation techniques while looking at pictures of flowers, trees and water. It sounds lame, but is actually quite effective). I'll post more about being back at work as I'm going through it. Should be interesting. And for those who might be curious...It's been three and half weeks and my beard has basically returned to it's former glory...thankfully. I will get some comments worthy of a very old and conservative High Priest - but it's better than the alternative.

Falling

A couple weeks ago, Ian tried to see if he was alright to resume some normal-ish activities. He took Eli and Caleb to the church parking lot for them to ride their bikes. Eli learned to ride a bike without training wheels a few months ago, but hasn't had a lot of practice since then. Ian saw Eli coming down the hill, looking wobbly, and thought Eli might not stop by himself. Ian ran to try to catch Eli but it was Ian who fell. The high doses of Prednesone that Ian takes actually eats away at the muscles. Ian's been doing great at walking on the treadmill everyday and doing some light yoga, but it wasn't enough at this moment to try and run. Ian's muscles gave out and that was what caused Ian to fall. He was/is OK, but had some good scrapes on his hands and knees as a result of the fall. It was another awakening that Ian still isn't back to normal.

Other things that say he's not back to normal are his nose bleeds and his voice. Although at this point, the nose bleeds aren't quite daily, they are still frequent. His voice is very raspy and often hard to hear/understand. I think the voice is one of the main indicators for us that his body isn't OK. More than that though, is his energy level. He shakes quite a bit, but will really shake after exerting himself. After walking on the treadmill for 20-30 minutes, he is so drenched in sweat. We tried camping at the R Ranch this week and Ian helped put the roof rack on the van. That took it out of him. He went camping though and I was proud of him for trying. It was only one night, in a cabin with it's own bathroom, and he had his hammock in the shade next to the soothing sound of the creek at his back, while deer passed right by him. :)

Ian is working on this blog as well

Although all of the posts on this blog will say "by Anne-Marie" some of them are being written by me...Ian. Anne-Marie set up this account so she's the name on all of the posts. If you're confused by who is writing what and desperately need to know who is who...the best indicator will be this: posts by me (Ian) will most likely be in the first person (of course I might get obnoxious and refer to myself in the third person...depends on the mood I suppose). If you're still confused, just post a question as a comment and one of us might respond.

Made the mistake of shaving my beard

This picture was taken a few days before shaving.

I grew a beard since being in the hospital. I liked having it, except all the grey in the chin - but hey, it adds character...and about ten years to my look. I work in a Catholic High School that does not allow facial hair for the students. Although the adult employees are technically allowed to have beards (at least there's nothing in my contract prohibiting facial hair - and there are a couple teachers with beards in some shape or form) I don't think it's enthusiastically accepted. This was emphasized by my coworkers who gave me a razor for my birthday - of course it was in good fun...but point taken. So I decided that I would try shaving my beard three weeks before work started back up to see how I looked...basically if I didn't like the way I looked without the beard I would have three weeks to grow it back and just deal with the comments from coworkers, etc. And if I was ok with how I looked, I would go clean shaven and all would be right in the universe that is work.

So I am sitting here now with a weeks worth of scruff willing my beard to grow faster...any suggestions? I look ridiculous with my moonface and no beard, I was shocked at how much my beard concealed this particularly fun prednisone side-effect. For a few days, my kids stared at me with mixed looks of pity and fear (in fact the other night for family prayer, our 4yr old Caleb prayed that my beard would grow back faster). I would post a picture of myself, but I refuse to chronicle this...I will say though that it is a bit reminiscent of Eddie Murphy in the fat suit in the Nutty Professor (except I'm white. maybe more like Mike Myers as Fat Bastard in Austin Powers...). Supposedly this all goes away when I hit a dose level of about 10-15mg of prednisone a day...I'm currently at 50 and tapering slowly. So I will probably have a beard for most, if not all, of the following school year. And I think I will be able to deal with the comments just fine, when considering the alternative.

We're being looked after

Even with all of the difficulty with this disease and all that goes with it, I realize that Heavenly Father is watching over us. Today, my email was hacked into by someone trying to sell cell phones to my contacts. It was a bit embarrassing and frustrating, but it did yield a bit of interesting information. I got an auto-reply from the counselor who took my place at the last high school I left. In the auto-reply, she mentioned that she was leaving the district due to budget cuts. Although I feel really bad for this individual, because I definitely know the pain of getting cut...that was one of the main reasons I left that district and took the job at Moreau. I often think about what would have happened if I did not get the job at Moreau. I would be sick with this disease and getting laid-off from a job...or I would be struggling in private practice and working at Pool Chlor (actually would be on long term disability making 55% of practically nothing). Instead, I have a job at a school that is secure with amazing health insurance and is a wonderful place to work (I got multiple emails from colleagues, including the resident priest that I was being prayed for - try to get that in public education). Also it landed us in a ward that is very kind and attentive to helping us through this time. Although this trial is difficult, Heavenly Father is making it very doable in a lot of different ways. Now if he can somehow inspire my Rheumatologist to speed up my prednisone taper that would be something wonderful.